Relationships
Playdate: the UK’s first dating app created for...
Saffia Farr finds out more from Nevine Coutry, founder of Playdate... What inspired you to set up Playdate? Ever since I got divorced five years ago, I’ve never felt comfortable using dating apps. As single parents, we don’t have the same freedoms and spontaneity that single, non-parent people have. It seems that every time I mention I have children to a potential date, they shy away and disappear! My situation is really what inspired me. What do you find difficult about dating as a parent? There are three main difficulties or hurdles when it comes to dating as a single parent: 1. Time: We don’t have much free time as single parents and it’s so hard to create it between looking after one or more children, keeping house, working, or running a business. 2. Spontaneity: With single parenting, there’s no spontaneity. If we want to go out, we need to...
Playdate: the UK’s first dating app created for single parents
Saffia Farr finds out more from Nevine Coutry, founder of Playdate... What inspired you to set up Playdate? Ever since I got divorced five years ago, I’ve never felt comfortable...
Partnership? It's a dance!
Steve Biddulph offers us support for our relationships One of the great tragedies of life is a marriage or relationship break-up, especially where children are involved. Not everyone is ‘right’ for each other, but in my experience as a family therapist, two-thirds of break-ups simply happen because people get lost, confused and afraid. In my books for men, I aim to give clearer maps for how to get along with the opposite sex, because many men haven’t been shown or taught this, and lack the inner language and awareness to help them be intimate, equal, and assured in doing the ‘dance’ that partnership really is. These are some edited extracts from my new UK edition of Manhood, which are aimed at men but equally might be helpful for women wanting to get along better with the men they love. His wants, her wants – how to make it work... Love is...
Partnership? It's a dance!
Steve Biddulph offers us support for our relationships One of the great tragedies of life is a marriage or relationship break-up, especially where children are involved. Not everyone is ‘right’...
What one mum found when she lost her way
I left my husband in 2016. At the time, I had a 2-year-old and a 5-year-old – both boys – one of whom was still in nappies. I was the family breadwinner, working in my clinical role in palliative care with patients reaching the end of their lives. On reflection, I think it was this role, and exposure to these patients, that prompted me to make the changes I did. I saw many people dying who had tolerated an unhappy life or an unhappy marriage, having never realised their full potential. Having never experienced true love or true happiness. And in contrast, I met other patients who had lived a life of pure joy, with a deeply loving, committed partner. This work made me acutely aware of how fragile we are, how temporary our lives are, and how very important it is to live a life that is congruent with...
What one mum found when she lost her way
I left my husband in 2016. At the time, I had a 2-year-old and a 5-year-old – both boys – one of whom was still in nappies. I was the...
Conscious dating: looking for love as a single ...
I never expected to date in my 30s. I never expected to be a single parent. But it turns out there were to be some twists and turns between the age of 18, when I met the man I married, and 33, when I became a divorcee. In 2020, the end of my marriage and becoming a single parent to two very young children hit me like a bulldozer. That period is a blur. It was roughly a year from knowing deep down that our marriage had to end, to the final out-loud words that confirmed it. A storm of forced smiles, fake positivity, and pure physical and emotional survival. Then came the space, the solitude of being alone in the house while the children slept, or when they were on a play-date, or with their dad, and the slow and quiet whisperings of how to heal, how to love...
Conscious dating: looking for love as a single parent
I never expected to date in my 30s. I never expected to be a single parent. But it turns out there were to be some twists and turns between the...
Common challenges that new parents may face in ...
Relationships start for all sorts of reasons. They weather all manner of storms and traumas and either pull through or flounder. As a relationship counsellor, I have seen a number of couples over the years presenting a variety of different problems, some practical that can be resolved with relative ease and others that need far more in-depth discussion to unearth the underlying causes of hurt, pain and disappointment. Parenthood by its very nature changes relationships. Where there were two people, there are now three or more. The birth of a child may be the most wonderful thing to happen to a couple. On the other hand, it may not be so clear cut. Often there can be a range of emotions, and couples who pinpoint some of their troubles starting when the children were born, also point out that they love their children and in no way regret their arrival....
Common challenges that new parents may face in relationships
Relationships start for all sorts of reasons. They weather all manner of storms and traumas and either pull through or flounder. As a relationship counsellor, I have seen a number...
One man, one woman: can it work?
Only if you treat it as a crucible for fierce self-development, writes Steve Biddulph Sometimes a young couple, just starting out, finds an older couple a great source of stability and inspiration. We had such friends in the 1970s and hung about with them every chance we had. Their children were like our little brothers and sisters, and we adored them too. So when their relationship broke down, and they separated in acrimony and hurt, it was upsetting. Looking back, I was angry that they hadn’t stayed together for me! We are such unconsciously driven beings, and less than a year later I was writing a book, with the help of my partner, Shaaron, on the importance of not giving up on marriage! The Making of Love – still available under the far less exciting UK title The Secret of Happy Parents – was full of the idealism of the 30-something psychologist that...
One man, one woman: can it work?
Only if you treat it as a crucible for fierce self-development, writes Steve Biddulph Sometimes a young couple, just starting out, finds an older couple a great source of stability...
Let’s talk about intimacy: navigating our relat...
Becoming a new parent is such a time of change. You’re not just transitioning to parenthood but you’re also learning how you engage with each other in your altered relationship. You’re not just partners or lovers now, you’re co-parents too. You are both learning the ropes of caring for your baby, but in relation to supporting each other. And it can be a big change. Suddenly, one of you may not be working and the dynamics of your day can be very different indeed. It’s normal for this time to feel really challenging. A lot of adaptation is going on, and the dust needs to settle on your new normal. Although not all couples feel this way, it is common for relationship satisfaction to decline slightly after having a baby. You might find yourselves arguing more, which is unsurprising really: everyone feels more on edge and everything feels much worse...
Let’s talk about intimacy: navigating our relationships as new parents
Becoming a new parent is such a time of change. You’re not just transitioning to parenthood but you’re also learning how you engage with each other in your altered relationship....
