To be able to express with love the world and life around them, artists must also be able to live with love in themselves. It is understandable that so many artists, particularly women, have chosen either the path of parenthood or the path of artistic expression.
Both need to have an energy of life and love poured into them, and it can be difficult to see how it is possible to carry out both in harmony. I have been a professional artist since 2008 and a mother since 2014; our second child was born in December 2017. With our first, I took no maternity leave, having landed a large commission in the middle of pregnancy. The sling and an amazing partner enabled me to complete the commission in time. With our second, I took maternity leave, and during this period I moved studios and began on a journey of exploration to see how an artist can work alongside being a parent. In honesty, this journey is ongoing and many questions still remain unanswered.
Famously, Tracey Emin is known for not having children, since she feels she could not split her emotions between motherhood and artistic expression. But surely we should be asking ourselves how, as creative individuals, we can incorporate our young children into this life so that it encourages their own expression to flourish, rather than become governed by fear of isolation. We are choosing not to send our daughters to school, and thus the regular school hours on which many artistic parents escape to work in studios will not be available.
Fortunately, most children enjoy making, drawing and expressing, many with a freedom their adult counterparts are chasing. I have come to the conclusion that the only way to be mother and artist is to be both at the same time. That sounds obvious, but for many people, going to work in whatever profession is separated from life as a parent. For artists, whose work is hands-on, encompassing and often sporadic, I have come to realise that it is essential to embrace their children’s involvement. In fact, it has been beneficial to have our 4-year-old commenting on aspects of my work, to utilise elements of drawing as a learning tool, and to encourage her love of complete expression with all her being.
That said, it is difficult at times. The stereotype of an artist, ironically usually male, is still governed by long, strained hours of haunted self-exploration, and endless production of mountains of work. This perception is shifting somewhat, but it still sits there and I, as I am sure others do, sometimes find myself falling foul of its wake. But at such times I have to remind myself, what better education is there for adult and child than when sharing in creativity? How much of life would I miss out on as an artist if I did not see our children because of self-inflicted artistic isolation? So my work may happen more slowly, it may get glitter on it, or it may only ever exist in my head, but that does not mean it is not there and that it does not exist as a valid part of the expressive world. I have found freedom in expression and furthered many ideas through explorations that children can take part in, such as smaller-scale lino cuts, puppet construction and textile works. Our elder daughter has also benefited. To give a few examples, she has learnt about observational drawing in nature, about the proportions of the human form, about chemical processes that happen when mixing plaster, and why one might want to add ceramic heads to an old birch stump – truly, this is important. It has taught me that artistic expression is not always dependent upon scale, volume or expense.
To be both artist and mother offers freedom from the constraints of the artistic ego and social stereotypes of expression that have led so many artists to falter. It teaches patience and love for the moments when your children are learning about themselves through creativity. I believe that art makes the world go round. Children are the world encompassed, so imagine what possibilities there are if we acknowledge we live with both.Â
____
Mary Dalton graduated from the Royal College of Art in 2008 with an MFA in Printmaking. She has worked as a practising artist and arts educator, both as a collaborative printmaker one-on-one and in outreach workshops. She is a mum of two and lives in Hampshire. marydalton.co.uk
Photo: AB
____
Published in issue 57. Accurate at the time this issue went to print.
