I’m Lucy and I have three grandchildren, Polly, Adam and Arabella. Polly and Adam are my daughter’s children and they’re 4 years old and 15 months old; Arabella is my son’s daughter and she’s 3 months old. I’m often asked what my grandchildren call me. We wanted to choose our own nicknames: I’m Goose. I had my children quite young (I was 23 when Oscar was born) and my daughter Violet did the same, so I’m very lucky to be a ‘younger’ grandparent (I’m 55). I’m also extremely fortunate that they all live a mile away, so we see them often. I changed my working hours to have a ‘day off ’ a week to help with childcare. I get a glorious day with them to fill as we please.
Grandparenthood is so very different from parenting. It’s not that you can give them back; it’s that you can devote your time and energy to them and put the rest of your life on pause. The dishes can wait, the cleaning doesn’t matter, because you can do it all when they’ve gone (unlike when they’re with you all the time). You can get the paints out, do some baking, build a den in the front room and just enjoy every minute. And I think that because, ultimately, they’re someone else’s responsibility, that lifts a burden from you. It’s not that you don’t have to do everything in your power to keep them safe and happy, but just that it’s not all on you. I love my children utterly, but there’s always a hint of guilt, of not doing it right, of not being good enough. There’s none of that with grandchildren.
It also helps hugely that when my children were little we were pretty poor, whereas now we’re comfortable and can afford days out and treats. But that’s the icing, not the cake itself. My relationship with my children has deepened and blossomed, too, through our shared joy in the little ones. I truly do count my blessings every single day.
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Published in issue 90. Accurate at the time this issue went to print. Photo not of author.
