Lucy Dulieu describes the personalised celebration that welcomes a child into the world...
What is a humanist naming ceremony?
A humanist naming ceremony marks the arrival of a new child to a family in a nonreligious way. They are often held for babies and toddlers, but ceremonies can also welcome older adopted children to a family, or step-children to a blended family.
Each ceremony is personalised and allows parents to celebrate their child as a unique individual, to reflect on the wonder and responsibility of being a parent, and to share in front of family and friends a commitment to their child on their journey to independence.
Warm and welcoming, humanist naming ceremonies are child-centred and inclusive. They can be held anywhere: a garden, a village hall, or in a woodland surrounded by nature. Led by an experienced humanist celebrant, they often happen at the start of a larger celebratory party, giving the event special meaning. First birthdays are popular choices for naming ceremonies as significant markers in a child’s life and important milestones for parents.
What happens at a humanist naming ceremony?
Naming ceremonies usually last around 20 to 25 minutes, but they can vary in length. They might be relaxed or formal, depending on the wishes of the family. There is no set structure, and families work with their celebrant to design a ceremony that suits them. There might be live music, singing, poetry, and symbolic rituals, and often family and friends are involved.
A typical ceremony will include stories about the child, words about the responsibility of being a parent, and promises made by the parents to the child about how they will nurture them and their hopes for the future. There is often mention of the importance of family and friends, and the wider support system for the child. Grandparents sometimes share what it means to have a grandchild, and older siblings can also contribute to the event.
Some parents choose to appoint special adults in the child’s life as ‘guide parents’, in the recognised tradition of godparents, though they might alternatively be called supporting adults, mentors, or ‘sparents’. The guide parents may also speak about the role they hope to play in supporting the child’s journey to adulthood. The ceremony is often brought to a close with an upbeat song or reading or a symbolic gesture – and, of course, a toast to the happiness of the child!
Symbolic gestures and rituals at a naming ceremony
As humanist naming ceremonies are not drawn from any one tradition, there is huge variety in the symbolic gestures that can be used to express the unique feelings that parents and guide parents have towards the new child.
Throughout history, symbolism has been used in ceremonies to represent important ideas and qualities. A wedding ring is a circle with no beginning or end and is a symbol of eternity and the never-ending bond of marriage. Symbolism is also attributed to colours and flowers. Red roses are an iconic emblem of romance, for example. Symbols give us a shorthand for feelings we want to express to others.
Different cultural groups may have different associations with the same object, so when choosing a symbolic act for a naming ceremony, it’s important to consider what it will mean to those who are present. Popular rituals and symbolic gestures include a candle-lighting ceremony, signing a naming certificate, a sand-blending ceremony (where different people important to the child’s life pour coloured sand into a clear jar), creating a tree of promises and advice (where good wishes are written down on labels and then tied to a tree), signing a guest book, creating a treasure box of memories, and planting a tree, seeds or bulbs.
Working with a humanist celebrant
A celebrant will spend time getting to know the family so that they can tell their story in an authentic and meaningful way. They will then write a unique script to celebrate the naming of the child.
Humanist celebrants are warm and professional. They guide families through the various elements and provide the opportunity to discuss the promises, readings, poems, rituals or music that might be included. Celebrants have training and experience and can share practical tips and give guidance when needed. Celebrants who are members of the Humanist Ceremonies network are DBS checked and insured, and have been trained and accredited by Humanists UK.
Human beings have always looked for ways to mark significant events in their lives. Ceremonies represent something timeless, and create the shared narratives that connect us all. Although many ceremonies are associated with religious ideas, nonreligious people have always sought out ceremonies that represent their own values, creating meaningful events to mark important moments.
About humanism
Throughout history there have been people who were not religious, and who instead believed that this life is the only life we have, and that we can live ethical, fulfilling lives based on compassion and reason without supernatural forces. They trusted evidence to discover truths about the universe and placed human welfare and fulfilment at the centre of their decision-making.
Today, people who share these beliefs are called humanists and this combination of values is called humanism. Humanists are non-religious people who make their ethical decisions based on reason and concern for their fellow humans (and other animals). Many people share this way of looking at the world, but many of them have not heard the word ‘humanist’ or may not realise that it describes what they believe. You can find out more at humanists.uk/humanism.
____
Lucy Dulieu, from Humanist Ceremonies, lives in south London with her partner and rescue cat. You can find out more about Humanist Ceremonies at humanists.uk/ceremonies/home.
____
Published in issue 88. Accurate at the time this issue went to print.
