Parenting support
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Special Time: being with a newborn baby
Modern life is very fast. Weโve got used to it, but a newborn hasnโt. He has a startle reaction if his mother lifts him up too quickly.* So the early months after the birth can be an opportunity for the mother to lift him slowly, and to enjoy an intimate โspecial timeโ with her newborn. Unfortunately, many women today feel they are plunged into motherhood, with minimal preparation. How can a mother relax and enjoy being with her newborn when she has so much to learn about the practicalities of looking after him? โThere should be midwives after the birth. Thatโs when you need them.โ [6 months] First mother: โThereโs not nearly enough follow-up after the birth. Everyone just leaves you to get on with it.โ [23 months; 4 months] Second mother: โThey say: โWell, youโve just had a baby,โ meaning: โWhat did you expect?โโ [7 months] Mothers today are...
Special Time: being with a newborn baby
Modern life is very fast. Weโve got used to it, but a newborn hasnโt. He has a startle reaction if his mother lifts him up too quickly.* So the early...
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Aware Parenting: Attachment Play
Rebecca Sheikh describes ways we can connect with our children through play, in part two of our Aware Parenting series In his book Playful Parenting, Lawrence Cohen says, โPlay is where children show us their inner feelings and experiences that they canโt or wonโt talk about. We need to hear what they have to say, and they need to share it. Thatโs why we have to join children where they live, on their terms.โยน Following an explosive morning with my 11-year-old, I was recently flooded with feelings of guilt, which we parents often feel when we want something different for our children, but get sidelined by our own intense feelings and unmet needs. We got through the moment, and it ended with a heartfelt plea from my daughter: โMum, I just need you to play with me!โ Wonderfully, we do learn, and a few days later when she spoke to...
Aware Parenting: Attachment Play
Rebecca Sheikh describes ways we can connect with our children through play, in part two of our Aware Parenting series In his book Playful Parenting, Lawrence Cohen says, โPlay is...
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One mum's perspective on toy overload
We have too many toys in our house. This might sound a bit melodramatic, but it isnโt an easy admission to make as a โgreenโ mother of three.ย We started out with such good intentions. We were determined our children would have a childhood full of old-fashioned pleasures; of homemade toys and imaginary worlds, of dens made from bed sheets, and tea parties under the table. Their toys would come from the world around us, gathered by the children themselves. Their dressing-up box would be filled with old curtains, squares of silk and foil crowns, and we would build castles out of cardboard boxes. We would buy second-hand, share with friends, make do and mend. We would not plunder the Earthโs resources buying cheap toxic toys, shipped halfway across the world, produced by people paid a pittance. We would not buy dolls that promoted unrealistic body images and taught my...
One mum's perspective on toy overload
We have too many toys in our house. This might sound a bit melodramatic, but it isnโt an easy admission to make as a โgreenโ mother of three.ย We started...
Pregnancy & Birth
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A father's experience of postnatal depression a...
Becoming a father twenty years ago was a challenging experience, made even more difficult by my wifeโs battle with severe postnatal depression and PTSD stemming from a traumatic birth that I witnessed. Back in 2004, mental health was rarely discussed in the media, which meant that many women suffered in silence for years. The struggles of fathers during the perinatal period were even less acknowledged. As a father, I made the difficult decision to give up my self-employed work to care for my wife. This shift brought about significant financial worries, especially since we had just purchased our first home. We were fortunate to have family nearby, but many families today find themselves moving away from their support networks. I vividly remember experiencing feelings akin to grief, longing for my past life I vividly remember experiencing feelings akin to grief, longing for my past life. It felt like we were...
A father's experience of postnatal depression and the need for better support
Becoming a father twenty years ago was a challenging experience, made even more difficult by my wifeโs battle with severe postnatal depression and PTSD stemming from a traumatic birth that...
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Vaginal Birth After Three Caesareans (VBA3C)
Shannon Whitlock shares the fight she took on to have the birth she longed for When I became pregnant with our fourth baby, I knew I would have a fight on my hands. While pregnancy was something I was familiar with, spontaneous labour and vaginal birth were not. They were things I felt I needed to experience. However, the way I was treated during that pregnancy was beyond what I could have prepared for. To understand how I ended up on the path of a VBA3C (vaginal birth after three caesareans), we need to go back through the pregnancies and births of my first three children. I was 18 when I discovered I was pregnant with my first child and six months into a new relationship with my now husband. I had planned and wanted this pregnancy, but I would be lying if I said I wasnโt shocked. The pregnancy...
Vaginal Birth After Three Caesareans (VBA3C)
Shannon Whitlock shares the fight she took on to have the birth she longed for When I became pregnant with our fourth baby, I knew I would have a fight...
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Postnatal Recovery: the importance of support f...
Postnatal care is the poor little sister of the birth world. Our culture focuses entirely on the baby rather than the needs of the new mother. This is reflected in the fact that the majority of the gifts given to new parents are baby clothes and toys. Yet, babies do not care for plush toys and clothing. What they need most, beyond warmth, shelter and food, is loving carers. It makes sense that attention and gifts, rather than being directed at the baby, ought to be directed at the mother. This wisdom is still part of many cultures around the world today, where new mothers are given a period of rest and nurture, lasting about a month, and during which other people take care of the household. It used to be part of western culture too, yet it has been lost in favour of a culture which glorifies a mother...
Postnatal Recovery: the importance of support for new mothers
Postnatal care is the poor little sister of the birth world. Our culture focuses entirely on the baby rather than the needs of the new mother. This is reflected in...
Family Time
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How to make a May Day hanging flower tin
Who would not be utterly overwhelmed when opening their door to find a beautiful posy of blooms hanging from the door-knob? Long ago, the custom was to deliver these little surprises to friends and family on the first day of May. I think it is a lovely tradition but it can be used for other special days as well, such as Motherโs Day, birthdays, or anniversaries. Imagining the delight and surprise on the recipientโs face is almost the best part. You will need clean can cream paint (I use water-based eggshell)ย piece of old lace fabric (I find plenty at all the wonderful vintage fairs throughout the year) fresh blossoms paintbrush tape measure scissors needle and matching sewing thread To make Make sure your can is clean and dry and then paint it inside and out. Leave to dry completely. Measure the circumference of the can and then cut enough...
How to make a May Day hanging flower tin
Who would not be utterly overwhelmed when opening their door to find a beautiful posy of blooms hanging from the door-knob? Long ago, the custom was to deliver these little...
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Three families share their festival experiences
ยฉ Green Gathering and Adam Tatton Reid Green Gathering As an eco-conscious family passionate about the outdoors, last yearโs Green Gathering festival in Chepstow was an absolute delight. Held in the stunning Piercefield Park, this off-grid festival is a celebration of sustainability, community and nature, with a wonderful family atmosphere. The moment we arrived, we were welcomed by friendly staff and the lush green surroundings. The festival felt spacious, with a layout that was simple to get around, giving us plenty of room to explore and relax. The variety of activities for children of all ages was one of the highlights. Our younger children loved the Kidsโ Garden and Village Green, where they could try crafts and circus skills and shop at the Swap Shop. We were entranced by the interactive shows in the Raconteursโ Delight, and the Enchanted Woods were magical and peaceful, by day and by night. Teens...
Three families share their festival experiences
ยฉ Green Gathering and Adam Tatton Reid Green Gathering As an eco-conscious family passionate about the outdoors, last yearโs Green Gathering festival in Chepstow was an absolute delight. Held in...
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How reading aloud helps foster a lifelong love ...
Of all the wonderful things my mum has done for me, reading to me has got to be near the top of the list. A love of reading has enabled me to live many lives, time-travel, explore the world and believe in the impossible. From board books as a baby, to carefully chosen library books, to chapter books, my mum always read to us, sometimes accompanied by a cup of tea to soothe her throat, as a mammoth reading session was inevitable because my brother and I insisted on โjust one more chapterโ. Eventually, as we grew, our reading sessions progressed to sitting in comfortable, companionable silence as we each read our own books side by side. Now whenever I see my mum I ask her what she is reading. Itโs usually a murder mystery, whilst Iโll normally have my head, not to mention my heart, stuck in some kind...
How reading aloud helps foster a lifelong love of books
Of all the wonderful things my mum has done for me, reading to me has got to be near the top of the list. A love of reading has enabled...
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